4 things your newborn does NOT need....

"They" say every child is different, that what works for one may not work for another. And that gadgets that were helpful for one may not be helpful for another. In my experience,"they" are indeed correct!

These are a few things that I have learnt (from my experience) that are possibly never needed for your newborn...

Top and tail bowl - first we had to work out what one of these things was before we  decided if we needed one. (For those unfamiliar, think of a bowl with two compartments - you can wash the 'top' of baby with one and the 'tail' of baby with the other.) Chances are, you will use this for the first few weeks of parenthood and then decide it is a waste of time, effort and (valuable) space. We used an old dual compartment Tupperware container for about two weeks before it was discarded. 

Fancy baby baths and bath seats - starting with a disclaimer... if you have trouble getting down low/reaching across the side of a bath, then something you can put on the floor/dining table etc may be exactly what you need. For the rest of us, laying a baby down flat in the bath with a little water up to the sides of their face (with a warm facecloth over the belly if you are worried about cold air) means that baby cannot fall or slide off, out or over the edge of the bath/bath seat. Miss/Master will, by default, also become accustomed to water in ears and eyes which should make washing hair and learning to swim that little bit easier. (Obviously, ensure ears are dried well after bath time). Our first born was first bathed in the laundry basket, then in one of those change table with baby bath things (it meant I did not have to bend down to bath her). Second time around both the wash basket and the 'standing height' baby change table with baby bath were ignored and Master went straight into the bath with his big sister. It was one less thing to clean in the bathroom. *update: after the arrival of 3rd child we did use a basic metal frame thing with a Terry cloth stretched over it. This enabled me to put all children in the bath together and so was worth the clutter and extra cleaning for me.

Breast feeding capes - it takes a little practice, but I happily wore scarves during my breastfeeding days and these appropriately 'maintained my dignity' while allowing me to feed my Miss and Master without distraction, without cold air getting where it should not (Miss was a winter birth) and without causing the baby or myself to swelter (Miss and Master are still little heaters). My repurposed scarves meant I had one less thing to carry every time I changed rooms, left the house or travelled abroad.

Fancy/fiddly clothes - while some may have a desire to put newborns in something special for going home, beyond this, the first few days and weeks will be a blur. Make it as easy as possible to dress and undress them (sometimes, literally, in your sleep), and to wash, dry and put away the clothes. This is especially important if you have a reflux newborn, believe me.

If experience teaches you that any of these things are necessary for your family, then you'll be able to make a doubt-free purchase

Too busy to be

I have been saying so for months, but it is nonetheless true: Things have been a little hectic around here of late.

I am always filling my time with things that need to be done, things that must be done. And when I get a gap, I fill it with something new to be done. I often joke that if I am not busy, I would be bored. If things are not done, the world will fall apart. Well, my world anyway. And then it did fall apart.

These are a few things I have learnt, the hard way, about making time to 'be'.

We recently took Miss and Master swimming with visiting family. We had actually planned many such outings but were always 'busy' doing 'things' and only managed it the once. I was not swimming so I found a table overlooking the pool and perched myself there, studying (yet another 'thing' that must be done). I took such joy from watching Miss and Master enjoyed the simple pleasure playing in the water that I had tears in my eyes.

This past Christmas we were blessed with many guests - a total of six adults and as many children. Early on Christmas morning, Father Christmas' sleigh bells rang out to mark 'present opening time' (at a little after 6am) and all the Misses and Masters scrambled for the stairs. Although this was surely cute, more was to come. The reaction to Father Christmas’ return visit (to top up his energy stores with sweet biscuits, of course...) was priceless. Six Miss and Master faces were pressed up against the dining room door glass watching a shy Father Christmas sneak in and out of our sitting room. Screams, squeals and shrieks of delight rang out! Shouts of ‘hello!’ and ‘thank you!’ from Misses and Masters who were bouncing around and waving their arms in desperately unsuccessful attempts to attract Father Christmas' attention. I witnessed the most precious mix of bewilderment and enchantment in each happy little face.
  
Not so long ago, in 2010, a close friend choreographed the most amazing summer holiday escape for a small group of friends; although, we are rather more a quasi family. From the mish-mash that was three different flights into our transit airport and the nail-biting first experience of flying standby, this was a holiday for those who prefer to see things from the funny side, who don’t mind the flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants sort of thing. And we were tested on this; our hire cars would have failed an MOT but the child safety seats looked the business. At the time, none of us seemed able to pin point what made that holiday so amazing. The weather was warm (almost guaranteed at our destination), the food was delicious and the company was second to none. But what made this holiday stand out amongst so many others? These past few months I have had cause to look back, to cogitate. I now know what made that holiday so special. While a couple of us momentarily slipped away to attend urgent work matters, on the whole, we all made the effort to just ‘be’ with each other, our quasi family.

I recall my last family celebration in Australia before moving abroad; it was Christmas in Queensland (another destination that practically guarantees warm weather). There were no young children or any of the fanfare usually associated with Christmas. Rather, it was a gathering of about 20 or so adults who all pitched in with food preparation and enjoyed the glorious, sun-filled days. No rushing about and no busyness; a bunch of folks happy to just ‘be’. The most recent celebration in Australia was much the same. Miss, Master and I flew to Auntie and Uncle’s house; MaMa and Pa joined us there. Plentiful warmth and light allowed Pa and Miss to cut fresh flowers from the garden each night. Miss was intrigued with the different stages of blooming maturity and Pa was happy to teach her more. Miss would rush to the vase every morning to see how her pickings were progressing and update Pa on their progress. During both these periods the focus was not to get out and about and ‘do things’, rather, we simply enjoyed time to ‘be’ with each other.

Folks often offer well-meaning advice, saying “you know, the world wont fall apart if you don’t get x, y or z done”. Although any control freak will tell you that their world will fall apart when certain things are not done. But then, seven months ago, almost to this day, my world did fall apart. And it wasn’t anything to do with my to do list.

There is no replacement for, and nothing better than the simplicity of spending time with those who put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. It will not change the perception of your world falling apart when 'to do' lists fail to be 'done', but it will give you a life well loved and well lived. We are not blessed with eternal life on this planet. But we are blessed with a finite amount of time to spend with those that we love, and those that love us. 

Cancer and other such nasties have hit me hard this year; too many and too much has been taken. One seat will be empty when our quasi-family take a holiday together this month. We will be one camp-seat short at the extended family's annual camping trip this October. And when my immediate family gather together this Christmas, it will be in the knowledge that without a timely piece of intervention, another seat in my life would also have been empty.

This is not a newsflash. You already know what is most important. Make time to 'be' - with those you love and those that love you. And if you fancy making a difference, if you fancy ensuring the empty seats are not in vain, please, help me keep Victoria's Promise and hit back at cancer.

Tiny Tip : 7

Spilled wax


Spilled wax on your carpet? This happened at a pub I visited recently, and, unfortunately, the carpet had only be laid the previous week. I offered the staff this Tiny Tip and thought I should share it here also...

Getting wax out of carpets is easiest if you leave it to dry first. Place brown butcher paper over the wax (double up the paper if the volume of wax requires it) and iron the affected area; start at the lowest heat setting. The heat will 'reactivate' the wax and the brown paper will draw out and absorb the wax.

Note: I have not tried this on woollen carpet or other natural fibre floor coverings, so do be careful with your heat settings...

Young people and gardening?

With the Chelsea Garden show closed for another year I recall that not so long ago I was less than excited at the prospect of spending an entire day looking at garden 'stuff'. But since my gardening knowledge has increased 100-fold (easy when you start from practically zilch), the garden show is somewhat to my taste these days.

Inspired by the BBC article linked at the end of this blog, here are a few things I have learnt about gardening (which may or may not attract young people to this pastime)...!

Eco-merits - a garden full of plants soaks up rainfall and water run off (flood prevention), helps sustain local wildlife (feeding bees, butterflies and birds etc) and are, of course, a critical element in the photosynthesis process. A compost system recycles organic waste and rewards your anti-landfill efforts with home-grown food for your garden.

Privacy plants - many homes have windows opening onto or close to the street so a carefully placed house plant (large or small) can act as a cheap, natural visual barrier between your home and joe-public beyond.

Clean air - some plants have super air cleaning properties such as spider plants, (Chlorophytum Comosum), which are great near road-facing windows because of their carbon monoxide appetite, and Peace Lillies, (Spathiphyllum Wallisii), which should be kept away from tech due to their air pollution appetite (waste particles will fall in the area surrounding the plant).

Cheap food - very little space is needed to grow tomatoes, berries and leafy salad accompaniments. If your window sills do not offer enough space to fulfil your appetite you can bur 'balcony-size' grow-bags from most garden centres and hardware stores. This is an easy way to make the grocery budget stretch a little farther.

Sense of responsibility - this is targeted more to the very young people, Misses and Masters. My Miss and Master have their own plants to attend to this summer (tomatoes for Master, Strawberries for Miss and a range of berries to share). Miss and Master take great pleasure in tending these plants, remarking on growth and enjoying the fruits of their labour (excuse the pun).

Decorations - whether it be seasonable bulbs or a more permanent flowering display, this is an easy way to scent the air, soften the decor and supplement the ambiance of your home.

Happy house-greening!

BBC - Chelsea Garden Show: Getting youths into gardening

VIP labour?

The other week a headline from The Telegraph alluded to home births being the VIP labour option. Although I have been sucked in by such headlines before, I suspiciously read on and quietly hoped that this might finally be the day that the truth of home births is told. 

You see where I grew up, a home birth is something for hippies and the selfish, (apparently). Although I do not typically recognise myself as either of these, a home birth is what I had my heart set on (eventually) with my first born and (always) with my second born. In the United Kingdom, where I live, a home birth is not a completely foreign event; around 2.7% of births were at home in 2009. In Australia, where I grew up, the rate of planned home births was less than 0.003% in the same year and hospital is widely considered the only place to labour (and is usually obstetrician-led).

Do read the original article for yourself (see link below) as I will not reinvent the wheel when the author has done such a marvellous job. Suffice to say, I know I am not the only home-birther who read the article and nodded along in happy agreement.

Further to the truths within the article, here are four things I have learnt about home births...

Music - get your playlist 'perfect'

We all have different moods that require different tunes. During pregnancy number one I discovered the remarkably relaxing properties of a particular musical genre and applied this knowledge in creating a labour playlist; the playlist worked beautifully, the first time. The second time, however, at a quiet but crucial point the screeching altitonants of J.S. Bach's Goldberg Variations: Aria - written especially for harpsichord - filled the room. I detest harpsichord. In the decades since my first music lesson I have found the jingle-jangled twangs of the harpsichord akin to fingernails scraped down a chalkboard. So, I chanced a vociferous 'I hate harpsichord!' and everyone present dived for the skip button.

Furniture - prepare for the inevitable 

When Papa and I bought our first house together some key furniture pieces were missing, and a dining set was one of them. Our kindly new neighbours came to the rescue and lent us their spare dining table and chairs, and even helped relocate everything to our dining room. Papa was not amused when I ignored his excited announcement: We have a dining table! Rather, I insisted he call the midwife and fill the dining room with my birthing pool.

Curtains - necessary

Curtains were a luxury we were without when Master chose day 6 in our new-build new home to be his birth day. One of the benefits of such a recent house-move is an abundance of cardboard boxes and packing tape, which make quite reasonable curtain substitutes, as it happens. Until the packing tape gave way.

Neighbours - (good ones are) always a blessing

On both occasions we have managed to surprise our neighbours with our home birth antics. Our London neighbour was, I imagine, having a peaceful morning until she heard me through our shared wall (built to the standard of an external wall). More recently, our Hampshire neighbours noticed the arrival and departure of their dinner guests coincided with the arrival and departure of our midwives (asking whether our 'new' dining set fitted well in our dining room...). These are the lovely neighbours that nursed a very sick, pregnant Mama (in London) and cooked for a tired Mama of 'two under two' (in Hampshire) - a blessing even at the most stressful of times.

So, would I recommend a home birth? The truth is that this is not for everyone. If Mama (to-be) believes that home is the most relaxing place to labour then I recommend a great deal of research and many, many conversations (with the right people) before any plans are pronounced. 

The prospect of a home birth was always something for myself and Papa to research and discuss with each other, with medical professionals and with others who have actually had a planned home birth. This blog is not a recommendation, endorsement or to-be-relied-upon information from a person of reasonable and/or relevant authority. This is simply a Mama sharing snippets of her home birth experiences.

Upon divulging Miss and Master's place of birth, I am often greeted with the same exclamation as the article author: Oh, you are so brave! Actually, no, I am not. Labouring at home was the most relaxing and comfortable place for me. It was not brave. It was my way of having a VIP labour.


The Telegraph: Busting the smug myth: Ladies, home births really are the VIP labour option

Tiny Tip : 6

Want your cleaning to last longer?

After cleaning your porcelain hand basin (or toilet etc), sparingly spray the surface with furniture polish and use a clean, dry cloth to spread the polish across the porcelain. This helps prevent hard water spots, toothpaste blobs and hairspray films from forming on your freshly cleaned porcelain.

This method does have a shelf life, but it will extend the 'just cleaned' look at a cost of just a few seconds of cleaning.

Tiny Tip : 5

Burnt pots

I recently set my full pressure cooker on the hob to cook and then promptly forgot about it. About 20 minutes later I removed the lid to find the 5mm-deep, unrecognisable cremated remains of a leek and potato soup. This is how it was cleaned...

Boil lemon juice and baking powder/bicarbonate of soda in the pot, let it boil hard for as long as necessary to lift your burnt meal. If you have conducted a proper cremation, like in m pot, your solution might need refreshing. A little rubbing and scrubbing may help, but the solution will lift 99% of the mess. 

I have since reacquainted myself with my oven timer.

Road trip survival tips

I am by no means a master of 'travel with children', but I have had a little experience of family travel. Here are a few things I have learnt about surviving a road trip with children...

• Breastfeed upon arrival at any stop whether short or long: during a road trip with a weaning breastfed baby I used short stops for breastfeeding followed by baby food in the car after departure.
• Nappy change(s)/bathroom visit as soon as you arrive anywhere; if it is a 'long' stop (eg lunch) then another nappy change/bathroom visit may be in order after you have eaten. This should ensure both you and your Miss(es)/Master(s) are ready to get back on the road as soon as everyone else is.
• Comfort item (blanky, teddy, drink) should always be kept out of sight until you absolutely have no choice but to use it. At this point the item becomes a great comfort (and not just to your Miss/Master).
• Food should be handy, healthy and hearty (if possible). If you refuel location has a less than impressive/healthy menu then your on-board snacks need to work double time. Fresh fruit is great (and has minimal packaging); dried fruit lasts longer (obviously) and can better survive rough handling. Low packaging items such as nuts and berries are healthy and take up less car/rubbish bag space.
• Baby wipes - keep packets in your door and/or seat pockets (yes, all of them)
• Washable bags - keep a stash in your door pockets; used for... rubbish, grotty shoes/clothes, shopping, managing kid-clutter (I prefer nylon for really grotty stuff because it dries quickly, a repurpose yoghurt pot (with lid and handle; empty at every stop) for rubbish, cloth bags for the remainder).
• Baby change kits - keep two at the ready so you can always find at least one. I used a variety of bag types, including a  small drawstring bag (hangs from you or a hook while in use) and large (washable) make-up pencil case type bags; contents: 1x at-least-half-used packet of wipes (lighter, smaller than a full packet), bottom cream (1-hand open), a couple of spare nappies (because they day you don't have 1 to wear plus a spare, you'll tear the nappy or baby will fill it immediately).

And last, although by no means least...

Get your vehicle checked for roadworthiness long enough before you leave to allow time to source and install any necessary parts so as to ensure your vehicle is in road-trip worthy condition. You would not want to end up driving during a rain storm without wipers in an area where it is safer to drive than pull over and wait it out!

Please share the wisdom you have learnt in your road trip travels via comments!

"The" top 50 outdoor activities for children...

I recently came across an article that catalogues the top 50 outdoor activities every child 'must' experience - according to a survey of children. As I thought back on my childhood, I felt quite fortunate for the experiences afforded me. But that was all years (decades) ago, so what sort of outdoor activities get children excited today?

I cannot speak for the children of today, but I can share a little of my outdoorsy childhood. My sister and I had many outdoor experiences that I know most of my classmates could only wonder, if not dream about. It was not just about fancy holidays to exotic places, in fact, unless you call trooping around a muddy farm mud at 6am to feed the orphan lambs 'fancy' or 'exotic', we did not have such holidays at all. For us it was more about everyday outdoor explorations and experiences, and then building on this during holiday travels. Many of the 'top 50' were achieved in our own back garden or very near to it.

Number 2. Roll down a really big hill

I have rolled. I am guessing that most of you have as well. But have you 'ice-blocked'? Probably one for the warmer climates, but nonetheless, picture this... On a hot summer evening you are at the top of a long, grassy slope. Directly underneath you is a small towel and underneath that is a freezing cold, solid block of ice with an A4-sized footprint. Ice is generally quite slippery in warm climates and it takes little effort to begin your decent and pick up speed down the run. I always enjoyed the thrill of the hot night, the cold 'sled' and the rush of the speedy slide down the slope. Carrying a heavy, cold ice block back up the slope for another run was another matter entirely. 

Number 6. Run around in the rain.

My 7 rainy day doings blog post describes how, as children, when the rain started falling we would bring out the tea sets and fill the pot with 'rain-tea'. But this was just one of our rainy day inspired games; bouncing on the wet trampoline to see who could make the biggest splash and dancing rain dances around the "hills hoist" were two more. Bursting through the full circle spray of our trusty lawn sprinkler was another of our favourite water activities; we would run, cartwheel, dance, handstand, and jeté through it all day long. As avid netballers, my sister, our best friends and myself practiced our short passes and shots at goal in the sprinkler arc, believing this to be a worthy training substitute for our on-the-court opposition.

Number 12. Make a trail with sticks

This past weekend was such pleasant weather that we took late-in-the-day walk to a playground on the other side of a local copse. Miss was gazing around in wonderment at the bluebells, dandelions, pines, grasses and so on. It reminded me of when I was a child, walking along dirt tracks with the surrounding growth so high (relative to my height) that I could see just a metre or so around me. I recall a particular treasure hunt during a childhood camping trip when we children were dispatched to follow a trail of stick and stone markers that took us all over the nature reserve (or so we thought, given our age and height). At the end of the treasure hunt trail we found our campsite (surprise, surprise), our treasure (marshmallows to roast on the fire) and a picnic blanket laid out for some pre-bedtime stargazing. In hindsight, this single evening actually achieved number 3 (camp out in the wild), number 27 (go star gazing) and number 40 (go on a nature walk at night). Of course, at the time all I cared about was the adventure and roasting my marshmallow treasures.

Number 23. Visit a farm

Some of my fondest childhood memories are from my Uncle and Auntie's farm. It was a place where I always found peace, space, adventure, and many (inadvertent) educational opportunities. Although not everyone has family living on a farm there are many place to get the farming experience - city farms operate all over London and many rural farms are open to day visitors.

Number 42. Go swimming in the sea

Having spent a great deal of time on a beach or by a beach as a child (I grew up about 100 meters from the sea and spent most summer holidays at a family-friendly seaside town), I had the good fortune of playing probably all of the usual beach related childhood games and a few invented ones as well. Some days were hot hot hot and spent mostly in the shallow waters where we could play tennis (volleying only, since we were knee deep in water) and when the Aussies were doing well in the summer cricket season we would mimic the 'specky' catches of our favourite fieldsmen over and over again, each time ensuring an almighty splash followed our 'fall' into the shallow water.

Number 1. Climb a tree

Strangely enough, this is probably one of my greatest achievements to date, which is why I have left it until last. We lived a short walk from a National Park, but also a smaller residential reserve full of Moreton Bay Fig trees - the sort where the protruding roots must be conquered before any branch may be climbed. I have also climbed many campsite pine trees, descending to a scalding from my mother who was never impressed to see sticky pinesap smeared through my long hair. But then there was the year we drove across the Nullabour Plain and stopped at the Pemberton climbing trees, in particular, the Gloucester tree. Climbing up the spiralled steel peg 'stairs' a whopping 61 meters, the viewing deck offered the most amazing views across the Karri forest, well above the canopy of all surrounding trees. You would think that after such a climb one would stand up on that viewing deck to bask in the glory of conquering the climb and perhaps to take in the incredibly beautiful view. But not me; I do not like heights. I climbed that tree to prove to myself that I can achieve and I can conquer, even if it terrifies me. I climbed back down that tree almost as soon as I arrived at the top.

So, what are the top 50 outdoor activities that get children excited today? Click the link to find out! I have no intention of ticking off number 30, but Miss & Master may enjoy a geocache walk this weekend...

Glamping

Glamping (glamorous camping) with Misses and Masters. These are some things I have learnt...

Bucket baths - take one of those plastic storage boxes for bathing in, making sure you only pack bathroom things that will fit in it. I suggest using a towel underneath (to prevent slippage and catch any wayward splashes), liquid soap and a lid (to keep the water hot if you are having to boil water, as we were).

Plastic bags of clothes - I packed sets of all-weather-friendly clothes into 'day' bags. Each day had its own bag and once Miss and Master were dressed, the bag was recycled for refuse.

Portable potty (with liners) - while the lid of the bucket bath was not being used for bucket baths it was underneath the portable potty. Alongside the potty was a roll of loo paper, baby wipes and hand towel - thus keeping them in one place and off the cold floor. We have a Potette brand portable potty and it works a treat!

Plastic box for washing up - all the cutlery, plates and cooking utensils I took were able to fit into one plastic box that was used for washing dishes and to store drying dishes.

Plastic box with lid for non-perishables - this is one thing I have learnt for next time as I was forever diving in and out of one of those over sized large shopping bags to find pepper or baking paper (great on a bbq to stop eggs etc sticking to the surface). Also, if you end up with a few plastic boxes you can stack them and use the surface as another table top, or a low eating surface for children.

Washing up liquid - unless you do an awful amount of washing up there should be no need for a 500ml of the stuff. Instead, fill a 'snack sized' drink bottle (with those slow-pour lids).

Rubber or suctioned bottomed bowls - If you have them, take them! While spilling food onto the floor is not a big deal when camping, it is a huge deal if you have to start the whole camp cooking process all over.

Footwear - we took just two types of shoes; flip flops and wellies. Every eventuality was covered.

Camping with a Miss and a Master is definitely a new twist in my life experiences of camping. But then anyone who has kids would agree that practically every experience comes with a new twist when a Miss or Master arrives.

My final tip for glamping with Misses and Masters is this: organise the hell out of everything that needs to be done and let the rest slide.

Please share your own kiddie-camping tips and location recommendations using comments!

Tiny Tip : 4

Cake decorating

In the approach to Master's 2nd birthday I share a tip passed to me by my own mother, who always baked and decorated the most beautiful cakes for my sister and I.

Freeze your undecorated cake! Butter icing is less prone to cake-crumb infestations during decorating if the cake is frozen. Of course, some folks do not need to resort to these sorts of tactics...