4 things your newborn does NOT need....

"They" say every child is different, that what works for one may not work for another. And that gadgets that were helpful for one may not be helpful for another. In my experience,"they" are indeed correct!

These are a few things that I have learnt (from my experience) that are possibly never needed for your newborn...

Top and tail bowl - first we had to work out what one of these things was before we  decided if we needed one. (For those unfamiliar, think of a bowl with two compartments - you can wash the 'top' of baby with one and the 'tail' of baby with the other.) Chances are, you will use this for the first few weeks of parenthood and then decide it is a waste of time, effort and (valuable) space. We used an old dual compartment Tupperware container for about two weeks before it was discarded. 

Fancy baby baths and bath seats - starting with a disclaimer... if you have trouble getting down low/reaching across the side of a bath, then something you can put on the floor/dining table etc may be exactly what you need. For the rest of us, laying a baby down flat in the bath with a little water up to the sides of their face (with a warm facecloth over the belly if you are worried about cold air) means that baby cannot fall or slide off, out or over the edge of the bath/bath seat. Miss/Master will, by default, also become accustomed to water in ears and eyes which should make washing hair and learning to swim that little bit easier. (Obviously, ensure ears are dried well after bath time). Our first born was first bathed in the laundry basket, then in one of those change table with baby bath things (it meant I did not have to bend down to bath her). Second time around both the wash basket and the 'standing height' baby change table with baby bath were ignored and Master went straight into the bath with his big sister. It was one less thing to clean in the bathroom. *update: after the arrival of 3rd child we did use a basic metal frame thing with a Terry cloth stretched over it. This enabled me to put all children in the bath together and so was worth the clutter and extra cleaning for me.

Breast feeding capes - it takes a little practice, but I happily wore scarves during my breastfeeding days and these appropriately 'maintained my dignity' while allowing me to feed my Miss and Master without distraction, without cold air getting where it should not (Miss was a winter birth) and without causing the baby or myself to swelter (Miss and Master are still little heaters). My repurposed scarves meant I had one less thing to carry every time I changed rooms, left the house or travelled abroad.

Fancy/fiddly clothes - while some may have a desire to put newborns in something special for going home, beyond this, the first few days and weeks will be a blur. Make it as easy as possible to dress and undress them (sometimes, literally, in your sleep), and to wash, dry and put away the clothes. This is especially important if you have a reflux newborn, believe me.

If experience teaches you that any of these things are necessary for your family, then you'll be able to make a doubt-free purchase

Too busy to be

I have been saying so for months, but it is nonetheless true: Things have been a little hectic around here of late.

I am always filling my time with things that need to be done, things that must be done. And when I get a gap, I fill it with something new to be done. I often joke that if I am not busy, I would be bored. If things are not done, the world will fall apart. Well, my world anyway. And then it did fall apart.

These are a few things I have learnt, the hard way, about making time to 'be'.

We recently took Miss and Master swimming with visiting family. We had actually planned many such outings but were always 'busy' doing 'things' and only managed it the once. I was not swimming so I found a table overlooking the pool and perched myself there, studying (yet another 'thing' that must be done). I took such joy from watching Miss and Master enjoyed the simple pleasure playing in the water that I had tears in my eyes.

This past Christmas we were blessed with many guests - a total of six adults and as many children. Early on Christmas morning, Father Christmas' sleigh bells rang out to mark 'present opening time' (at a little after 6am) and all the Misses and Masters scrambled for the stairs. Although this was surely cute, more was to come. The reaction to Father Christmas’ return visit (to top up his energy stores with sweet biscuits, of course...) was priceless. Six Miss and Master faces were pressed up against the dining room door glass watching a shy Father Christmas sneak in and out of our sitting room. Screams, squeals and shrieks of delight rang out! Shouts of ‘hello!’ and ‘thank you!’ from Misses and Masters who were bouncing around and waving their arms in desperately unsuccessful attempts to attract Father Christmas' attention. I witnessed the most precious mix of bewilderment and enchantment in each happy little face.
  
Not so long ago, in 2010, a close friend choreographed the most amazing summer holiday escape for a small group of friends; although, we are rather more a quasi family. From the mish-mash that was three different flights into our transit airport and the nail-biting first experience of flying standby, this was a holiday for those who prefer to see things from the funny side, who don’t mind the flying-by-the-seat-of-your-pants sort of thing. And we were tested on this; our hire cars would have failed an MOT but the child safety seats looked the business. At the time, none of us seemed able to pin point what made that holiday so amazing. The weather was warm (almost guaranteed at our destination), the food was delicious and the company was second to none. But what made this holiday stand out amongst so many others? These past few months I have had cause to look back, to cogitate. I now know what made that holiday so special. While a couple of us momentarily slipped away to attend urgent work matters, on the whole, we all made the effort to just ‘be’ with each other, our quasi family.

I recall my last family celebration in Australia before moving abroad; it was Christmas in Queensland (another destination that practically guarantees warm weather). There were no young children or any of the fanfare usually associated with Christmas. Rather, it was a gathering of about 20 or so adults who all pitched in with food preparation and enjoyed the glorious, sun-filled days. No rushing about and no busyness; a bunch of folks happy to just ‘be’. The most recent celebration in Australia was much the same. Miss, Master and I flew to Auntie and Uncle’s house; MaMa and Pa joined us there. Plentiful warmth and light allowed Pa and Miss to cut fresh flowers from the garden each night. Miss was intrigued with the different stages of blooming maturity and Pa was happy to teach her more. Miss would rush to the vase every morning to see how her pickings were progressing and update Pa on their progress. During both these periods the focus was not to get out and about and ‘do things’, rather, we simply enjoyed time to ‘be’ with each other.

Folks often offer well-meaning advice, saying “you know, the world wont fall apart if you don’t get x, y or z done”. Although any control freak will tell you that their world will fall apart when certain things are not done. But then, seven months ago, almost to this day, my world did fall apart. And it wasn’t anything to do with my to do list.

There is no replacement for, and nothing better than the simplicity of spending time with those who put a smile on your face and warmth in your heart. It will not change the perception of your world falling apart when 'to do' lists fail to be 'done', but it will give you a life well loved and well lived. We are not blessed with eternal life on this planet. But we are blessed with a finite amount of time to spend with those that we love, and those that love us. 

Cancer and other such nasties have hit me hard this year; too many and too much has been taken. One seat will be empty when our quasi-family take a holiday together this month. We will be one camp-seat short at the extended family's annual camping trip this October. And when my immediate family gather together this Christmas, it will be in the knowledge that without a timely piece of intervention, another seat in my life would also have been empty.

This is not a newsflash. You already know what is most important. Make time to 'be' - with those you love and those that love you. And if you fancy making a difference, if you fancy ensuring the empty seats are not in vain, please, help me keep Victoria's Promise and hit back at cancer.

Tiny Tip : 7

Spilled wax


Spilled wax on your carpet? This happened at a pub I visited recently, and, unfortunately, the carpet had only be laid the previous week. I offered the staff this Tiny Tip and thought I should share it here also...

Getting wax out of carpets is easiest if you leave it to dry first. Place brown butcher paper over the wax (double up the paper if the volume of wax requires it) and iron the affected area; start at the lowest heat setting. The heat will 'reactivate' the wax and the brown paper will draw out and absorb the wax.

Note: I have not tried this on woollen carpet or other natural fibre floor coverings, so do be careful with your heat settings...